disney has this particular way of sucking up youngsters, making them into superstars, all the while crippling them in the morals department. i can't even count on two hands the number of innocents-turned-skankflies that disney churned out. so it should come as no surprise that hilary duff has finally shimmied out of her virtues and has begun to embrace her life as a human rickshaw.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeMLvB2qftE
i mean...what the fuck was she thinking? "oh hmmm. well britney and christina and lindsay all put aside their virtues to pursue a life of backseat hookups, white trash rendevous and plan b tablets, i have to bring something new and shocking to the table. i know! BESTIALITY! but not with your typical woman-horse pairing. no, i'll do it with ARTHROPODS! the more legs the better. top that, lohan*"
*which lindsay eventually did, as she is now involved with samantha "black lagoon" ronson.
All the while, John Cusack looks on in mock-shock which is actually a clever disguise for his burgeoning awareness that his career, is in fact, in the shitter. Also, duff's character's name is "yonica babyyeah" which I don't think I even really need to address. I can't wait to see this movie, it looks like a veritible string of good choices.
In completely unrelated news, Heidi Montag continues to insist that she has good reason not to commit bloody suicide while the rest of the world and logic continue to disagree. oh, the battle continues. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a bitch drink, even if the world would be better off.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Also, Miley Cyrus has some pretty jagged underteeth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXJMmAZAtXQ
apparently, miley cyrus is threatened by the disney new comers selena gomez and demi something-or-other so she and her BFF4L mandy made an asinine little video which is basically the digital version of miley marking her territory like a crazed feral lioness who's place at the top of the pride has recently been threatened by the recent leaking of "saucy-pics" and a general deficit of talent.
also, miley's best friend mandy jiroux is a fucking obnoxious stack of monkey shit.
just look at the insolent, sanity-be-damned grin. don't you just want to kick her in the teeth and make her beg for her life? and just to be serious for a minute, what the fuck is a 25 year old doing hanging out exclusively with a 15 year old. that, my friend, is a genuine indication that you're a bonafide fucking loser and should probably walk your dumb ass into oncoming traffic ASAP. please. do it at night and wear a black cat suit.
also, how much of a crap job is it to backup dance for miley cyrus? all that happens is the bitch comes running out on stage, throws her hands up in the air, flips her hair, salutes satan and thanks him for her underserved success, waves to the crowd, pouts her lips, chews the face off a kitten and then returns for the encore. basically mandy's job is to drop as much acid as is humanly possible and to fuck around on stage like a sex starved bishop in a kindergarten. i'm guessing that her contractual responsibilities also include shameless, cloying remarks to boost miley's ever-flatlining self esteem and to make damn sure that she cuts herself only in places that won't be seen in photoshoots. Presumably, after dance practice, mandy goes home where she sits watching lifetime, alone, with her cup o' noodles and her shame and miley goes home to her vicodin and stares at the ceiling wondering when this thing called "life" will all be over.
also, apparently miley is SUPER INTO GOD AND JESUS AND THE PURITY THING except when its time for "saucy pics" at which point God applies an open palm to his own forehead, closes his eyes and wonders why he bothers with mankind.
also, i'm pretty sure miley told us all that her best friend was "leslie" which makes miley not only a soulless human piggybank but also a liar.
ps the best part of miley's snark-a-thon vid is her showing off her new "emo-mazing" tshirt, behavior which translates into "lookatmytitslookatmytitslookatmytits," which all in all, is not a terribly unusual thing for miley to do.
apparently, miley cyrus is threatened by the disney new comers selena gomez and demi something-or-other so she and her BFF4L mandy made an asinine little video which is basically the digital version of miley marking her territory like a crazed feral lioness who's place at the top of the pride has recently been threatened by the recent leaking of "saucy-pics" and a general deficit of talent.
also, miley's best friend mandy jiroux is a fucking obnoxious stack of monkey shit.
just look at the insolent, sanity-be-damned grin. don't you just want to kick her in the teeth and make her beg for her life? and just to be serious for a minute, what the fuck is a 25 year old doing hanging out exclusively with a 15 year old. that, my friend, is a genuine indication that you're a bonafide fucking loser and should probably walk your dumb ass into oncoming traffic ASAP. please. do it at night and wear a black cat suit.
also, how much of a crap job is it to backup dance for miley cyrus? all that happens is the bitch comes running out on stage, throws her hands up in the air, flips her hair, salutes satan and thanks him for her underserved success, waves to the crowd, pouts her lips, chews the face off a kitten and then returns for the encore. basically mandy's job is to drop as much acid as is humanly possible and to fuck around on stage like a sex starved bishop in a kindergarten. i'm guessing that her contractual responsibilities also include shameless, cloying remarks to boost miley's ever-flatlining self esteem and to make damn sure that she cuts herself only in places that won't be seen in photoshoots. Presumably, after dance practice, mandy goes home where she sits watching lifetime, alone, with her cup o' noodles and her shame and miley goes home to her vicodin and stares at the ceiling wondering when this thing called "life" will all be over.
also, apparently miley is SUPER INTO GOD AND JESUS AND THE PURITY THING except when its time for "saucy pics" at which point God applies an open palm to his own forehead, closes his eyes and wonders why he bothers with mankind.
also, i'm pretty sure miley told us all that her best friend was "leslie" which makes miley not only a soulless human piggybank but also a liar.
ps the best part of miley's snark-a-thon vid is her showing off her new "emo-mazing" tshirt, behavior which translates into "lookatmytitslookatmytitslookatmytits," which all in all, is not a terribly unusual thing for miley to do.
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