Shades of Cloverfield

I'm frankly surprised that Jamie-Lynn didn't give birth to the world's first centaur and that's all I really have to say about that. According to the ever-reliable Wikipedia: "[In people with Down Syndrome] Fertility amongst both males and females is reduced;[41] there have been only three recorded instances of males with Down syndrome fathering children.[42][43]"

Way to beat the odds, Casey Aldridge. You fucking menace to society.
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In other news, I still cannot conceive of a woman who would allow Verne Troyer inside her.
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Also, as reported by TMZ, Celine Dion in the past year has run through 6.5 million gallons of water. She claims that this was due to a broken water main, which just sounds like a fucking fib to me. In reality I'm guessing her villianous spawn offspring needs constant rehydration due to the fact that its main ancestry is divided between a crusty old man and a deflated blowfish and was probably responsible for excessive water usage. It would probably be best for all involved if the Dions would either a) relegate their son to a fishtank or b) have it put down for ethical and environmental reasons because it would be a shame if a frightened Dion offspring were to run rampant through LA crushing everything in its path, as portrayed in Cloverfield. Just saying.