Shades of Cloverfield

I'm frankly surprised that Jamie-Lynn didn't give birth to the world's first centaur and that's all I really have to say about that. According to the ever-reliable Wikipedia: "[In people with Down Syndrome] Fertility amongst both males and females is reduced;[41] there have been only three recorded instances of males with Down syndrome fathering children.[42][43]"

Way to beat the odds, Casey Aldridge. You fucking menace to society.
---
In other news, I still cannot conceive of a woman who would allow Verne Troyer inside her.
---
Also, as reported by TMZ, Celine Dion in the past year has run through 6.5 million gallons of water. She claims that this was due to a broken water main, which just sounds like a fucking fib to me. In reality I'm guessing her villianous spawn offspring needs constant rehydration due to the fact that its main ancestry is divided between a crusty old man and a deflated blowfish and was probably responsible for excessive water usage. It would probably be best for all involved if the Dions would either a) relegate their son to a fishtank or b) have it put down for ethical and environmental reasons because it would be a shame if a frightened Dion offspring were to run rampant through LA crushing everything in its path, as portrayed in Cloverfield. Just saying.

The Day I Put My Eyes Out

The Day of Reckoning is Upon Us: Arma-Fucking-Geddon

http://perezhilton.com/2008-06-25-even-mini-me-has-a-sex-tape

I'm not saying that Verne Troyer (aka Demonica vulgaris) isn't deserving of a proper sexual relationship but I feel that, in reaction to this video, the cosmic universe at large just retched a bit in the back of its throat.
Also, I believe it is time for Verne to break out of the short side-kick roles that have dominated his career so I have decided to write a screenplay for a blockbuster popcorn gobbler of a film that will star Troyer. The Littlest Incubus will be about a tiny supernatural demon spawn so bizarre and physically deviant that he is unable to seduce women and therefore carry out his evil demon mission of collecting souls via sexual intercourse. I'm not sure really about plot details, progression, etc, but that's a hell of a hook. Tara Reid can also star playing a slutty bad girl who encounters Troyer and then gives up her life of sin after meeting the one penis she wouldn't suck. I'll weave in a back story involving a jerk step-father and a blowtorch to explain her stomach issue and errant nymphomania.


PS -
Just a thought: maybe the rule should be, if you are a third the size of a natural human being, than maybe your life span should be equally short.

PPS -
Seriously? That fishy tadpole of a human being gets ass? i feel he should probably get his balls clipped off for biologically defrauding nature.